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[18 Jan 2009|06:44pm] |
Later this evening I am taking part in an Ayahuasca ceremony.
Tremendous healing.
Only love.
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| the sweetest little song |
[11 Nov 2008|11:11pm] |
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"& if there
is a way
to find you
i will find you..."
...
"you go your way.
i'll go your way too."
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| blacklacenaked |
[10 Nov 2008|01:25pm] |
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mood |
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mockingbirds |
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music |
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wombwombwombwomb |
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I remember the last first snow. I was in love. He was beautiful, but his mind was broken. I read to him from The Book of Longing. He said, "This is why I come back, every time. For this couch." How many places can a soul-twin be at once?
Now, everything is bright white sky & blacklace branches. I found The Spice-box of Earth on a shelf. My grandfather died recently. A decade ago, when he had the stroke, he said "Why did you take me from the Gates of Valhalla?"
When I was two he was the subject of my first poem, babbled softly to myself & transcribed by my mother:
"Opa in a park of moss.
Opa walks down a path
through the park of moss
to the wishing-well.
It's a pale green well,
a pea-green well;
It's a pretty little well.
Opa says, 'Hello,'
to the fishes in the well.
'If you come to my house
Don't make a mess!
Toodeloo!' says Opa kindly.
I am bleeding. I am bleeding moonlight.
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| so, last night I smoked a victory bowl... |
[05 Nov 2008|07:13am] |
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& this morning I found this in my inbox, from a daily inspirational newsletter thingy:
"While we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt and those who tell us we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can."
Barack Obama
President-Elect of the United States of America
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| ...Self.Real.Eyes.Nation... |
[31 Oct 2008|06:51pm] |
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mood |
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the infinite |
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music |
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variations of everything & nothing |
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Who are you ? my Heart asks.
Do I know you from b4 b4 b4 ?
(((((((THIS IS ALL A HOLOGRAM)))))))
cLose your eyes.
Lose your self.
Love your Self.
Little fragment rejoins the whole.
Little figment re-members its SOUL.
mY CAPITALISATION is sliding.
My fingers are too long,
bones of rubber. Bones of stone.
My teeth dream of falling out.
I had forgotten what this was like...
Sometimes when I find
a feather, a member of the karass,
a lover on the other
side of Time; I want to lie down
beside them & cease to be.
Hello, Death-drive
-ing down a long blue road
wound endless round my wrist,
these ribbons
signify desire; drive me crazy.
It's not so long a way.
carbon-made only wants to be unmade
But I no longer want
to "get off now- the world is spinning!"
The Universe is spiralling, Time
is spreading itself like
honey across the sea.
I don't want
to stop,
blink out,
finis.
I am
so grateful
that I
exist.
I am so grateful
for the star-souls with whom
I continually collide.
Somewhen, little darling, we collide.
We are always colliding...
All ways, we collide.
All of this is eternity.
My Heart tells me.
There is One Heart
& it is the Universe,
but here in the third & fourth
Dimension(s) we divide
everything into Dark & Light.
Let's step into a darker deep All Hallow's Eve.
Let's walk through this Door together this Samhain.
Karass entire, we descend
into slender light of the Seasonal Underworld.
Let's hold hands, baby.
Let's hold hands & run.
Have I said I Love You All enough times that you believe ?
Have I held you as my Child for long enough, my dear?
Have I lain with you, wounds bear,
tender underbelly exposed
for all to see, trusting & embraced ?
Embracing, and trusting.
For All to see.
This body is these cells & they are me
This mind is this self & it is me
This Universe is these stars & they are me
This mouth tells this story & it is me
This sound sings this song & it is me
This hand plants this seed & they are one,
& they are me
All of these are one Soul
& it is me
& Now,
& Here,
With my Heart in my hand
I am reminded that I am
that I am.
I am
that I am.
We are One.
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| my hilarious song |
[28 Oct 2008|10:22pm] |
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"my foot's asleep,
it's hard to walk;
the ground's too deep.
i am mired into the ruins
of an old man's face."
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| happy birthday to my very own self |
[26 Jul 2008|05:33pm] |
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mood |
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23 = 5 |
] |
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music |
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HEY YOU GUYS! I'M THIS MANY!!! |
] |
i'm sorry for everything i've done wrong.
i'm welcome for everything i've done right.
(hahaha: duality)
... AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
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| notmy babies |
[23 Jun 2008|06:10pm] |
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mood |
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laughing |
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music |
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All the Diamonds - Brucie |
] |
Aridine is currently attempting to teach Adalie to say "Leonard Cohen."
I haven't even mentioned him to-day. Not in front of them, at least.
Wow. I warp minds. & time.
I'm warped.
Love!
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| beautiful somethings |
[02 Jun 2008|02:23pm] |
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Sometimes I find tangible confirmation of feelings I have in my heart (of ideas I sense with the edges of my mind) & my body begins to hum & I feel as though I am a chalice overflowing with liquid light.
Thankyou, Dreaming Universe...
In. Out. In. Out. In.
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| Layers of Steam, Streaming |
[28 May 2008|01:22pm] |
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mood |
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luminous |
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music |
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wind&rain&sun |
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It comes to this:
When I even so much as think that I may know what is best for another on their journey, I am making a judgment. I have come to know it is IMPOSSIBLE to judge another without judging some aspect of my Self.
I have known this for some time, though too often have my actions been incongruous with this understanding. Too frequently do I find my Self discussing how another 'ought' to be handling some detail of their life. I expend energy on frustration at their missing the lesson. What sort of attitude toward my own growth does this reveal?
There are also times when, instead of grumbling about someone, I pray for their learning to unfold exactly as it must in accordance with the Grand Harmony. I release my wishes, trusting Wind to carry those seeds, trusting Sun & Rain to nurture their Desire to be born. Then, with eyes turned inward, I look to dis.cover what I can do within my Self to effect the change I wish to see.
Less of the former, more of the latter.
Dying periodically is perfectly natural.
My thought is this:
Ignorance is a phase Innocence moves through
on her journey to become Wisdom.
"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." in deed.
I Love...
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| Beloved |
[15 May 2008|01:13pm] |
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The Poem writes itself
the Lovers take care of the rest.
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[20 Feb 2008|02:53pm] |
"Weather permitting, the total eclipse can be seen from North and South America. People in Europe and Africa will be able to see it high in the sky before dawn on Thursday.
As the moonlight dims -- it won't go totally dark -- Saturn and Regulus will pop out and sandwich the moon. Regulus is the brightest star in the constellation Leo.
Jack Horkheimer, host of the PBS show "Star Gazer," called the event "the moon, the lord of the rings and heart of the lion eclipse.""
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| For all my friends: |
[13 Feb 2008|05:57pm] |
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music |
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Democracy - L.C. |
] |
It's coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tiananmen Square.
It's coming from the feel
that this ain't exactly real,
or it's real, but it ain't exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming through a crack in the wall;
on a visionary flood of alcohol;
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don't pretend to understand at all.
It's coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the sorrow in the street,
the holy places where the races meet;
from the homicidal bitchin'
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.
From the wells of disappointment
where the women kneel to pray
for the grace of God in the desert here
and the desert far away:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on.
It's coming to America first,
the cradle of the best and of the worst.
It's here they got the range
and the machinery for change
and it's here they got the spiritual thirst.
It's here the family's broken
and it's here the lonely say
that the heart has got to open
in a fundamental way:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we'll be making love again.
We'll be going down so deep
the river's going to weep,
and the mountain's going to shout Amen!
It's coming like the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious,
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on ...
I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean
I love the country but I can't stand the scene.
And I'm neither left or right
I'm just staying home tonight,
getting lost in that hopeless little screen.
But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags
that Time cannot decay,
I'm junk but I'm still holding up
this little wild bouquet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
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| bugsbugsbugsbugs |
[30 Jan 2008|02:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bizarre |
] |
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music |
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the delicate clunk of a radiator |
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You're The Poisonwood Bible!
by Barbara Kingsolver
Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both
isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people,
but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since
you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and
tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be
Belgian.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
This quiz is really creepy. The Poisonwood Bible was actually the first 'adult novel' I ever read. This book (and Fall on Your Knees by Ann Marie Macdonald) had a profound effect on the formation of my personal mythology.
You can care, but only if you want to.
I like the word 'agave'.
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[30 Jan 2008|01:55pm] |
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"My only regret... is that I have... bonitis!"
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| re-post |
[29 Jan 2008|01:01pm] |
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an exchange on the wisdom of embracing impermanence reminded me that I had reworked this poem-thing which I wrote back in August. it seems to be good advice for me currently. again. more. still.
Halation
I am a doe frozen
Praying invisibility,
Futility;
The Huntress is lining up her shot.
I am stagnant water,
Clogged with clusters
Of cloudy amphibian
Eggs, like eyes.
I am your hair rising,
Every inch of your body alive
And lucid with electric anticipation;
And a sudden certainty
the lightning is watching you.
You are seen and known and loved
You are naked, child
You see, You know, You Love.
So let it go.
Let go of "one way or the other"
Let go of black or white.
You set down the crucifix and the sword
In order to become
who you are.
So, become, Little Star;
Become, Celestial One;
Become, Fragile Flame;
Become the lightning watching.
Become the rain & snow
Become her silver bow, become the arrow.
Become the reeds and sand and duckweed;
Water's purging
And Water's movement to become
Rivers & lakes,
Vessels & veins of liquid Story.
Become Earth's catharsis.
Become the Lunar light&pull.
Become the night-song;
the breaking of day
Become the unity of opposites,
Tides divided no longer.
Balance is not found in stillness:
Harmony is the movement of Becoming.
My Child, remember
whenever you breathe out:
breathe in.
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[26 Jan 2008|06:02pm] |
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"Where there is much light, the shadow is deep." - Goethe
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| Awaken, Little Dreamers |
[22 Jan 2008|03:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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universal |
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music |
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god is alive/magic is afoot - L.C.'s words, Buffy's voice |
] |
Awaken to your Cells
Your Selves
Your Souls
Come back to where you've always been
Come back to where you could not see
Come back
Inside
the Song.
Sooner or later Knowing ceases to be enough. The sincere Desire for Understanding emerges. Nurture this. Even through the pain of self-real-eyes-ation (and it burns and freezes by turns, like Hell) know that all the guilt and fear and shame and hate and judgement and condemnation are all Love in its distressing disguises. Infant Love reflecting what it's learned, Know what it's learned is wrong... seeking validation in the eyes of Others.
In the eyes of Others we see only what we've learned. Beauty, hate. Whatever we have learned we find. This is a trick of the coma-mind. This is real, but not Real. Until we turn our eye inward and truly know our Selves, we will be trapped and trapping others in our karmic web.
If you ask a question, the answer will come. Recognise the answer.
Recognise the hook.
When we are able to open the Heart within the Mind, and hold Compassion for our Selves, we find our Selves in a Compassionate Universe. Who we are effects great change around us constantly. Who do you choose to be?
Let go of who you've been.
Let go of guilt fear shame hate judgement condemnation.
Let go of the Mirrors of the 'other'.
We are all the Other to some one.
We are all .One.
Know in your Heart of Hearts: guiltfearshamehatejudgementcondemnation:
LOVE.
Let it go, whatever 'it' is.
Let it go, return to Love from whence it came.
Have Faith, in whatever form it speaks to you.
Jump. The net will appear.
This is my prayer for all of us.
For all of us my prayer is this.
I Love each and every One of you.
With All My Heart,
Luminamalthea
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